I'm Afraid... But the only way out is through it...
Would you consider me insane, if i said I don't know myself?
Had i been asked this question 2 years ago i would've answered with a full and complete description. but since then so many things have changed. I have grown older(surely age wise) but i know for a fact that soul wise and mentally i haven't aged a day. Although i need to say that this maturity thing (while me being an extremist) has taken a very wrong and BORING turn.
I will not express my dislike for it, but i will say that i am upset. at myself perhaps, upset at my mind yes. I am simply Upset, Sahar is somewhere inside me, i hear her but she is as frightened as a deer. i cannot convince her that her fears are unfounded.
funny thing is that i am aware that those fears are without merit, i am aware that those fears are unfounded and i acknowledge that, but sahar regardless insists on hiding.
Hiding, such a weak word. but oh so many connotations linked to it. Hiding. flowers and their buds hide in winter, bears hide in winter as well. but winter is so beautiful , pure, yet at the same time destructive. however, not permanent.
change is not permanent, sure you don't go back to where you started, but that change you reach, is also altered later on, and that alteration is also altered again. so really change isn't permanent. yet why does it feel like my change has been permanent and its heading in a direction i would fear for whatever life i still had in me.
Love,
Fearless
Had i been asked this question 2 years ago i would've answered with a full and complete description. but since then so many things have changed. I have grown older(surely age wise) but i know for a fact that soul wise and mentally i haven't aged a day. Although i need to say that this maturity thing (while me being an extremist) has taken a very wrong and BORING turn.
I will not express my dislike for it, but i will say that i am upset. at myself perhaps, upset at my mind yes. I am simply Upset, Sahar is somewhere inside me, i hear her but she is as frightened as a deer. i cannot convince her that her fears are unfounded.
funny thing is that i am aware that those fears are without merit, i am aware that those fears are unfounded and i acknowledge that, but sahar regardless insists on hiding.
Hiding, such a weak word. but oh so many connotations linked to it. Hiding. flowers and their buds hide in winter, bears hide in winter as well. but winter is so beautiful , pure, yet at the same time destructive. however, not permanent.
change is not permanent, sure you don't go back to where you started, but that change you reach, is also altered later on, and that alteration is also altered again. so really change isn't permanent. yet why does it feel like my change has been permanent and its heading in a direction i would fear for whatever life i still had in me.
Love,
Fearless
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