An Open Letter to my Body

Dearest Body,

I’ve been meaning to talk to you, but I never got around to it. I didn’t know what to say, or more precisely where to start. This time my life coach has asked me to tell you how I feel, to include you into my circle of gratitude, she asked me to show you love. For a second there I wanted to say NO, but before that second passed I already knew everything I wanted to tell you.

Today for the first time in almost 7 years , just before I reached the door to my house , I heard you. I heard every step I took, I felt every movement, and I felt the blood circulating. I knew you were celebrating the milestone we hit together today. We broke a record, you & I.

I've known you for 25 years and we've had our fair share of good and bad moments. Haven't we?

I'm sorry for all the times I told you that you were ugly and that no one would want me because of you, I'm sorry for starving you those times all in the hope of making you smaller.

It's been a long time coming, but I should have loved you all along. You're every part of me , you saved my life once, I hope you remember.  You saved my life 7 years ago, you cushioned the blow of my car crash, you protected my spine from snapping in two. You softened the blow until I had mild bruises and had to wear a neck brace for a few weeks, but hey it made a killer story. I shouldn’t have stopped talking to you then, but I am here now and I love you. One day, you're going to grow us a baby!

You've given me my curves, my "more-than-a-handful" breasts, my sometimes thunder thighs and my reappearing tummy. All of which, at one point or another, I hated you for.

Please forgive me, it's hard growing up and everything I said and did to you was out of fear. I hope you understand.

I'm sorry I let other people's opinion of you change how I saw you, and I'm sorry for letting those opinions get to me and upset me.

It's my opinion of you that counts. You're my body, you are me, and I think you’re AWESOME.

My mother grew and nurtured me for nine long months, as you grew inside, she grew and changed outside, just so that I could be. How could I not love you for so long? Her body loved you enough to let go of its shape, that was her biggest gift to me.  She loved me enough the way I am, my family loved me enough the way I am. You & I have experienced love in most of its shapes and forms and I can’t believe I ever doubted you.

I want to thank you for being so strong.

I want to thank my legs for the distance they've walked.

My wide hips because I can belly dance like no other.

My scars for reminding me that change is inevitable, and that no matter what you will adjust for me.

I want to thank my whole body for making me who I am, for never faltering and staying strong and healthy for these 25 years.

Being True,

Fearless